Welcome to Wedding Invitations – What Not to Do, a new series that we’ll be featuring every Monday in May. Every Monday this month, we’ll be highlighting some common mistakes or misunderstandings many couples have when it comes to wedding stationery. Some of these topics this month may be controversial and that’s ok. Our goal is to make you aware of common etiquette and you can make up your mind what you want to do.
Send Save the Dates and Not Wedding Invitations
Our first topic in this series is about sending save the dates and not wedding invitations. Now I think most couples know that save the dates are not meant to be the actual wedding invitation. Maybe some couples choose to only send send the dates but I have personally never seen this happen. What I mean is more about the guest list the couple uses when they send save the dates and wedding invitations.
When a couple gets engaged, they are so excited and I’m sure most of them want to tell their world they’re getting married and have set their date. In the 12 plus years I’ve been doing this, I have seen where couples order save the dates for every relative, friend and co-worker and then when it comes to sending their wedding invitations for their actual wedding, they have cut down their list because they can’t afford to invite everyone they know. This is a big no, no!
I think one thing that catches couples off guard when ordering their save the dates is that they don’t yet have their guest list solidified and you absolutely must before ordering any wedding stationery.
The purpose of a save the date is to announce to your invited guests that you have set your date and that they should make the date on their calendar. If you send a save the date to someone, it means they are invited to your wedding and that they should expect to receive their formal invitation at a later date. If they end up not receiving a wedding invitation, it could cause a lot of confusion and hurt feelings if you decide down the road not to invite them.
When it comes to your wedding stationery (including save the dates) it is important to have your guest list solidified before sending anything to your guests. Since save the dates don’t need to be mailed out until 6-8 months before your wedding, this should give most couples plenty of time to have their guest list nailed down. Sending out save the dates to only the intended invited guest list will avoid confusion and hurt feeling and ensure that your invites guests know the invitation is coming making them more likely to be a part of your special day.