Wedding Invitation Etiquette: What to do and What to avoid
One of the most common things couples ask me about is etiquette. Invitations are beautiful keepsakes, but they’re also practical tools meant to give your guests everything they need to celebrate with you. Over the years, I’ve seen couples second-guess the wording, worry about whether to include registry info, or wonder if they’re being “too formal” or “not formal enough.”
If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone! Today, I’m walking you through the invitation etiquette questions I hear most often, plus a few do’s and don’ts I’ve learned from working with so many couples.
The Do’s of Wedding Invitation Etiquette
Do send save the dates early (if you’re using them).
I can’t tell you how many couples breathe a sigh of relief once their save the dates are out the door. Six to eight months in advance is ideal (longer for destination weddings). It helps your guests make travel arrangements and avoids last-minute stress.
Do include all the necessary details.
Think of your invitation as the “who, what, when, and where” of your wedding. Your names, date, time, and location are a given — but don’t forget RSVP instructions and a dress code if you have one. Clear is always better than clever when it comes to the essentials.
Do proofread (more than once).
I’ve caught misspellings of names, incorrect zip codes, and even the wrong year before final print. (Yes, really!) Always have a second set of eyes review everything before giving final approval.
Do order extras.
This is one couples often skip, and I get it — invitations add up. But trust me, you’ll want 10–15% more than your guest list. Extra invitations cover last-minute additions and give you keepsakes for albums or framing later.
The Don’ts of Wedding Invitation Etiquette
Don’t include your registry on the invitation.
It’s tempting, I know, but it’s not considered proper etiquette. Instead, include registry details on your wedding website. That way, guests have the info they need, but it doesn’t take away from the elegance of your invitations.
Don’t forget your return address.
This seems small, but it’s so important. Not only does it help with lost mail, but it also signals to guests where gifts and RSVPs should be returned.
Don’t overcomplicate the RSVP process.
If it feels confusing to you, it will definitely be confusing to your guests. Provide one clear way to RSVP and a clear deadline. Simplicity makes it easier for everyone.
Don’t ignore formality.
Your invitations set the tone for your day. Even if your wedding is more casual, the wording should still be thoughtful and polished. It’s the very first impression guests will have.
Common Questions Couples Ask
“How do we handle adults-only weddings?”
I always recommend a combination of clear addressing and gentle communication. Your envelopes should reflect exactly who is invited, and your website or details card can help clarify. One way to communicate this politely and clearly is adding a line on your RSVP card where is says something like “We have reserved __ seats in your honor.” This is a clear way to say 2, 3, etc. are invited without saying “no kids”.
“Can we email invitations instead?”
Digital invitations are more common now, but mailed invitations remain the traditional (and more formal) choice. A printed invitation also signals to your guests that this is a special event. Even a casual wedding is an important event that should be treated as such. That means sending a physical invitation via mail even if the invitation is simple and more budget-friendly.
“Do we really need inner envelopes?”
Not necessarily, but they are helpful. They make it easy to show who is invited (children or no children, for example) and add a touch of tradition. Alternatives to inner envelopes are vellum jackets, gate-folds, pocket-folds, etc. While these don’t include guest names the same way inner envelopes do, they do a lovely job of keeping your cards organized in the envelope.
At the end of the day, etiquette isn’t about following a rigid set of rules; it’s about showing respect for your guests and creating a seamless experience for everyone. Your invitations should feel like you while still giving guests the information they need.
If you’re feeling unsure about etiquette or just want an experienced guide through the process, that’s exactly what I help couples with every day. Together, we can create invitations that are beautiful, personal, and etiquette-approved.
